Deployment isn't easy for any of us. We each face personal struggles. Philip is separated from his family and feels like he can't make the contributions he wants to. I am torn out of my comfort zone as I have to make decisions and do things Philip would usually do. Alexis struggles with boundaries and invading other people's personal space. Emily needs reassurance that her family is staying with her. Nater didn't have the guidelines and structure he craves. And then, there was sweet Liam. I figured his greatest struggle with deployment would come when Philip returned home. I worried that he wouldn't know Philip and they would have issues bonding. I couldn't have been more wrong. Liam has thrived in Philip's homecoming, and I have begun to suspect that he has struggled with this deployment as much as the rest of us and I just did not understand his struggles.
William had only one month with his dad before Philip left. It was a good month. Philip, like any good dad, cared and loved his son as much as he could before he left. I was happy for the time they had together, but diminished it's importance. To me, they would bond when Philip came home. They would develop a great father-son relationship, as soon as Daddy came home. I did not see that they had bonded. They were a father, and a son, and they had a wonderful relationship.
And so, Philip left for Afghanistan. I did what I could to help my children understand and handle the separation. As much as possible the girls sent emails and letters and packages to their dad. We anticipated receiving the same from him. We talked to Philip often. Anytime we could videochat on Skype, Nater would confiscate my phone and take his time with HIS dad. I printed pictures for them of them with their dad. We made a daddy chain. We talked of dad and Afghanistan and missing him. All of us, but William. William is just a baby and cant talk. He couldn't express missing his dad, and as far as I knew, he didn't really even know his dad. And thus, any struggles he faced were explained away by things other than deployment.
On May 17th, we put the kids to bed and after a nap ourselves, William and I headed on post to pick up Philip. William was unsure about why we were out so late at night, but did well. Several people helped us deal with his carseat and had kind things to say to and about William. We had left 4 hours before his flight was to arrive, so there was a lot of waiting time. We snacked and Liam rested.
 |
| William enjoyed a cookie while we waited |
At last the time came for Philip to arrive. As the soldiers entered I searched for Philip. It didn't take long for me to find him. But, as they released the soldiers I could tell Philip hadn't seen me. We eventually found each other and the time came for Liam to see his dad after several months.
 |
| Can you find Philip in this picture? |
He may have been a bit hesitant at first, but after a brief time, he was comfortable with his Dad and has been a different baby since!
 |
| Not so sure he wants dad to take him, yet. |
William sleeps through the night, in his OWN bed! William plays on his own and with his siblings throughout the day. William no longer seems to have a radar that goes off any time I am about to be productive. I know that some of that comes with age, but since Philip has been home, William has made huge strides towards independence. He no longer seems to need as much time in my arms, or at my breast. It is because of this, I think that he knew his dad was missing all along. Now that Dad is home, he is more confident and independent.
And we are all having a great time!
 |
| LOVING having this guy back in our arms! |
No comments:
Post a Comment