Because Boys Really Are Different Than Girls

When I was young, and knew everything- I had a plan. SEVERAL plans actually! But one of my favorite things to plan, and therefore, one of my most detailed plans involved my children. I would have my first child by the time I was 20. I would continue to have children every 18 months, until all 12 children were born. None of my pregnancies would be multiples- so I would be finished having children before my 37th birthday (at the latest- ideally, I would start at 18). I would have a son first- and by the end I would have 7 girls and 5 boys. I had their names all chosen (except for the last name- that changed based on my crushes or boyfriends).
Then, reality hit! (or maybe I should call this "I grew up"- but I'm not so sure how true that is). I got pregnant when I was 20. Almost right away my oldest sister asked me what gender I thought the baby would be- and I knew. "oh no! It's a GIRL!" I knew things were not going to go according to what I had planned and I knew that would begin with the fact that I was pregnant with a girl. It's not that I didn't want a girl. I wanted lots of girls, I just wanted a boy first. I wanted my children to have an older brother. I needed to have a boy first. But, instead I had a girl. Then I had another girl. And my plan changed. I could do the girl thing. I realized that the girl thing is what I had spent my life preparing for. I had all sisters. I mostly had only girl friends. I AM a girl! I understood girls. I like the way they work. I could be a mom to a girl. I could be a mom to several girls (by now, I am thinking 5 girls, no boys). Again, reality hit!
It's a boy! I was going to have a boy. I was honestly terrified! I don't know how to be a mom to boys- and, furthermore, I don't WANT to be a mom to boys. Boys are scary! I just wanted to keep having my girls.

Well, the boy is almost 11 months old now. I am no longer afraid of being his mom. I feel like I should be able to handle most things nearly as well as I will be able to do for my girls. But I am realizing more and more that boys really are different than girls! (I could get into- but wont get into- the nature vs. nurture arguments. Suffices to say there is a natural difference between boys and girls that has nothing to do with how they are raised.) I thought I would share some ways I have seen that my boy is different than my girls. (not just personality- in that sense all of my kids are different)

MEAT- This one started even in pregnancy. I have never wanted a cow so badly as I did throughout the pregnancy with my son. I am actually not a fan of red meats. Steak is one of my least favorite foods. However, when I was pregnant with the boy it was all I wanted. With my girls, I would introduce it to them along with other foods before they were even a year old. They would try it- but showed no desire to really eat it until much later (one still just doesn't care too much for meat). The boy LOVES meat! If he had his way he would eat about a cow a day! He eats and enjoys several other foods- but growing boys must truly need meat.

Reading/listening to stories- I love to read to my kids. I loved the way my girls would sit near me or cuddle with me and listen to stories over and over and over again. I could make up my own (lame) stories and they would stop what they were doing, look at either me or the book I was reading, and listen to the story. The boy also listens to stories. He also loves books. However, the boy doesn't STOP to listen. He hands me book after book after book, and while I read one, he looks through another one (or pulls a few more off the shelf). He listens as he crawls away. He listens as he bangs toys together. He listens, but only if he also gets to be doing something. Even while lounging in his recliner, he has to be playing with something in order to listen to a story.

Adventures and risks- My girls will have adventures, they are both becoming quite open to taking risks. They will try new things and often enjoy them. But most of these adventures and risks have to either be prompted or encouraged by somebody else. The boy, however, continually seeks out adventures and risks. He is not even walking yet and he pushes every limit he can. He tries to run, and climb, and explore EVERYTHING! While we encouraged the girls to take risks and believe that they can do things, we have to limit the boy for his own safety. I have learned to be proud when my girls take a risk without being prompted or encouraged (like Emi did on the playground today). I have learned to keep a diligent eye on the boy's risky adventures.




The best part is, we have only had the boy for 11 months. We have so much more to learn and experience. I love my girls and I love my boys. I love that my girls are girls. I love that my boy is a boy. I love that I get to see more of what is naturally different between them. I love seeing what is naturally similar between them. What are some differences you have noticed between your boys and your girls?