A Great and Many Things

There is so much I have been wanting to blog about. But, we no longer have internet at home and I refuse to blog everything on the phone. So, I plan to write and write and write. Later I will take my laptop to an internet source and share all the things I have written. So, this is all for now, but watch for much more to come.

A Gift Of Answered Prayers

I have spent the past couple days in almost constant pondering and prayer. If you read my previous post, you know that we were considering and planning a move to Idaho. In brief, here is how things panned out.

Philip called. He knew that he was to quit work and we were to move to Idaho.

I wrote lists, researched, planned and prayed all day. We could either quit or move but not both.

I talked to Philip and said I needed him to work the oil rig for two more months and then I could make Idaho possible. He said he would pray about it. At that point, I knew for certain that we needed to move soon and not quit soon. And Philip knew that we needed to quit and that we would move eventually.

I prayed. I very specifically asked for certain feelings to know for sure which aspects of the plan were right and which were not.

Philip prayed to see if he should work longer for me.

We got our answers. Exactly the way we asked for them.

Philip can work the oil rig up to two more months, for my sake, but he does need out of that environment.
We will be going to Idaho, but it does not have to be right away. The year or so time line is back on the table.
We NEED to go to the temple. There are more answers that await us at the temple.

So, for now. We are facing changes and looking forward to receiving a clearer perspective at the temple. We will work towards finding a different job here and preparing the house to sell.

I have enjoyed this opportunity to work together with my husband and Heavenly Father to deeply seek out answers and His plan for our lives at this time.

I am so grateful for my relationship with my Heavenly Father and the comfort that comes from knowing that He does, indeed, have a plan for my life.

WHAT???!!!!

Okay, so I have been feeling a pull to Idaho for some time now. And I knew we would be moving within a year.
This morning my husband called and feels really strongly that that schedule needs to be moved up to like within a month or two.
WHAT???!!!!!
The scariest part is that it feels right. We do need to move and we need to move SOON!
So, today has become a day of lists and preparing and figuring things out. Yay?!

I'll keep you updated, but as of now, it looks like we are moving. And moving SOON!

Self Realization

Alexis has hit a really fun stage. She has begun to really think a lot about who she is and what makes her who she is.
She spends a lot of time saying things like, "I am just the same as Daddy because..." And a lot of "I really like to do ______ because I am really ______."
She has begun making goals (I will get 12 categories of toys cleaned up by 12:00) and resolutions (two habits I am cutting back on).
She is figuring out who she is. She, luckily, seems to love who she is. She likes for us to acknowledge the traits she sees in herself. She loves to define herself. She has begun to try and decide how those traits will guide her future. She is trying to take the steps to become the type of person she wants to be.
I couldn't be more excited for her! Or more surprised by how much she is growing. I sure do love that girl!

I sure do love all these kiddos!

Fulfillment

I wrote this just before going to sleep last night:

Such an exciting day, as I feel that many things are falling into place. We met with our midwife today. She had answers for all of my concerns about a homebirth. And we feel confident in proceeding with the plan. I am excited and have such a thirst to learn and grow and do more. I want this to be my best pregnancy and delivery yet. And I think it will easily be my best postpartum. We are going to work on my diet and lifestyle to help eliminate the chances for depression. If I could figure out how not to get depressed after each one, I may never stop having babies.
I am excited to think of the learning opportunities this presents for my family and especially for my daughters. They seem to be interested in being around for the birth and I am excited to share the event with my family.
Another thing that is falling into place is our family bed room. So many of us crave a family bed. I used to always lie down with the girls and read and sing and talk to help them sleep. Lately all of my kids have been asking to have me with them while they fall asleep as Philip is away. So, we are back to one room for sleep and one for play. Tonight I laid with them and read six chapters of the book, Holes. So, we not only get the closeness of being together, but we get in good reading time too. And, once the reading is done I get to come out and enjoy time and space either to myself or with Philip.
There is still a lot of work to do and a lot of progress to make. But the life we are creating becomes more beautiful every day.
I thank the Lord for all He has blessed our lives with. Every day I am filled with gratitude to have these kids in my life. I hope that as we continue to declutter and minimize things our love and joy will continue to expand and our peace will continue to be magnified.

A Very Merry Christmas Indeed

Merry Christmas everyone!
I have been trying to be a better steward of my time lately, and in line with that, I have not been on Facebook at all today. I wanted to give this day to myself and my family instead. And because this blog is for my kids, and they are now all in bed. I want to share here the many precious pieces that made today a great Christmas.
I awoke to Emi coming in to see if I was up yet. She and Lexi and I cuddled for a while in bed before coming to the livingroom to begin the celebrations. I let them open their envelopes (gift cards) from their grandparents and then heard Nater, so they invited him to join us.
We went through stockings and then, after Liam joined us, opened a few presents. Later, when Philip is home, we will get to have Christmas again with the remaining goodies.

-Alexis is filled with posed expressions today. I was only able to get one candid shot of her because as soon as she opened anything, she put on a pose and held it until I snapped a picture. She is growing so fast. I love that she still feels the magic of the holidays, even if she is questioning where the magic comes from. Today she asked if I did the presents or if Santa did. I later learned that she had seen some of the stocking stuffers downstairs. I turned the question back to her (as I do all Santa questions) and she decided that we probably worked together on it. Later she was excited that Santa "knew she needed shoes".

-Emily so often reminds me of myself. I still open presents and stack everything in a collection of piles for the day. She did the same thing. First she tried to shove all of her stuff into her stocking, and when it would not fit she began her pile making. She posed genuinely for pictures and was thrilled with her gifts all day. Several days ago, she set aside special outfits for the upcoming days, that have included winter hats that she wears indoors. She was so excited to wear her Christmas outfit today, and later to change into her new pajamas and matching socks.

-Nater, unlike Lexi, was filled with endless candid moments worth capturing today. He was thrilled for the surprise of Christmas and loved every moment of it. He has always had a great sense of quantities and was so excited to find his "sets of two" in his stocking today. It began when he pulled the second of his suckers out. He went on and on about having "two, momma, two!" He also found two playdoughs and two mittens. He laid them out side by side and counted, "two, free. two, free. two, free. TWO momma!" I also chuckled when he talked to my dad on the phone and decided that Grampy's voice "Cares me!" (scares)

-Liam enjoyed his day and fought so hard to open his presents on his own. Though he did not get upset when others helped. He mostly relaxed today, and refused his morning nap for the first time. He is learning to take his diapers off and wanted to be naked most of the day. But, at bedtime, when he put on his new footie pajamas, he was happy as could be to have clothes on. He stuck out his chest and tapped his foot. He gladly showed off how handsome his new pajamas were and it was clear he loved them.

-We got to talk briefly to Philip this morning and more tonight. I talked to all of my sisters and my mom and even got to talk to Philip's dad. It was a great day and I am glad I dedicated it to my family.

-We happen to be reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Tonight we read two chapters. Those of Aslan's death and resurrection. In discussing it with the girls, they knew instantly that another who had died for others and was resurrected was Christ. Emi pointed out that Christ died for everyone. I am glad to have had the chance to talk to my kids about the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Christ today. I am grateful for my testimony of such an amazing man. I am grateful for all that He did, does, and was for us. I love the opportunities we take to truly celebrate Him.

Waves of Change

I wrote this several nights ago in my personal journal and wanted to share it here.

One of my favorite things to do at the beach is to sit near the water and dig a hole. I love the adventure of desperately trying to dig the largest hole I possibly can before a wave comes in and the sand and water rush in and fill my hole and frustrate my efforts.
I feel like that tonight. I feel like I'm striving and struggling to create a world of loveliness for me and my kids and my family. I'm trying to add, or change, or take things away from our lives to create our beautiful ideal world. And the whole time I know that I am racing the clock. I know that inevitably the tides of life will come in and things will change and I'll look on the "hole" I had and how it's filled with new things and again I start to dig and build and prepare for a new crashing wave.
Today I got news from a loved one that hit me in a way I never would have expected. Life changes! And today, I was forced to face just how quickly those changes come.
I've always been a reminiscent being. I often remember, review and evaluate the past. And as my day forced me to acknowledge how much things have changed I realized just how fast my "nows" are slipping into the past.
Today I spent time holding and comforting each of my kids. Their heartbreaks seemed trivial but not only were they real, the opened a way for all the realness of hurt they can't understand to flow through them. So, I held them. Each of them. For as long as they would let me I held them and while they mourned their little (to my perspective) upsets, I mourned how quickly they are leaving me. How quickly they are growing past the need of cuddling in my lap and crying things out.
Today I feel like the sands of time are flowing way too fast. I want desperately to slow them down and hold them back. I want to freeze my family in the ages/stages we're in long enough for me to truly soak them in until I feel I've at last truly appreciated them.
So, today I hugged my kids a little longer, I listened and watched a little more intently, and I tried harder to appreciate all the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, and blessings of our lives, as they are RIGHT NOW.